How Much Do You Love Me?

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it.” Matthew 16:24

Deny myself? Take up my cross? We each have our own crosses. When we want to complain, we can think of what Jesus went through. “Excruciating” comes from the Latin excruciare 'to torment or torture', which was based on crux. From the agony in the garden to Jesus’ last breath, He was in torment. 

In Luke 22:44 we read that Jesus was so anguished, “he prayed more earnestly and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” The Christ experienced what is now known as hematohidrosis, a very rare clinical phenomenon in which the capillary blood vessels that feed the sweat glands rupture, causing them to bleed. 

In the very few recorded instances, this has been caused by extreme physical or emotional stress, acute fear or intense mental contemplation. Leonardo Da Vinci wrote of a soldier who sweated blood before going into battle. There are case studies of six men whose sweat glands bled before being led to execution during the London blitz. 

We definitely cannot say that because Jesus was God, He did not experience fear before allowing Himself to be brought before the priests, magistrates of the temple and elders. He knew more than anyone what He would have to go through, and to finish! There was no going back. We can ask Him, “How much do You love me?” 

He spread out His arms, allowed His hands to be nailed to the cross beam, and answered, “This much.”