As For Me and My House

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

There are many 'kingdoms' here on earth. Politicians try to be kings. Some actors live their lives as if they are untouchable. Some people act as if they will live forever with no mind for tomorrow. Some wealthy people believe they can buy their way out of jail and even buy their way into heaven. 

But in the Kingdom where God is Master, we will be judged not according to what we have accumulated, how much power or popularity or influence we have, but how much we love God and our neighbor. We can build a big house here on earth, with the finest materials, and decorate it like the homes in Architectural Digest, but the Lord may prefer to live in a nipa hut with a loving, generous family. He will for sure enjoy staying in a cramped home filled with happy people serving Him and each other. Whether our house is big or small, in a nice subdivision, or a squatter area, let us make sure that the Lord will want to stay with us! 

Seventy Times Seven

“You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.” Matthew 18:32

God is the same today as He was yesterday. In the Old Testament there are several accounts where God’s favored people were punished for their sins. God allowed their captivity or defeat, and even in modern times, the Jews were victims of the Holocaust. Is it because He wanted to bring them low? Is it because He did not want to forgive them? 

“For we are reduced, O Lord, beyond any other nation, brought low everywhere in the world this day because of our sins,” Azariah acknowledged when the Israelites became captives of the Babylonians. And he asked with a contrite and humble heart for God’s forgiveness for his people. We need to do the same. 

We are indeed brought low by the bad state of affairs we find ourselves in, the lack of food supply, rising global commodity prices and soaring inflation. Even if the cases of the COVID virus are declining, we are still dealing with the impact of the pandemic, lack of jobs, and the decline of our economy. We do not even begin to realize what the confinement did to our children’s education and our people’s mental health and well being. 

Are we able to look at this time, this strange and terrible season, with eyes of faith, and see the extraordinary gift God is giving us? Do we make use of the time and opportunity we have, a time to ponder, to connect to God, and see where we have failed Him? 

God is calling us back to Him. We are His favorites as well, just like the Israelites. “The Lord disciplines those he loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son." (Hebrews 12:6) Let us look for the ways we have disappointed Him and ask forgiveness. Perhaps there is some unforgiveness in our heart we need to root out. Perhaps there is envy, or condemnation, or perhaps we like to gossip. We need to bring it out to light and ask God’s mercy for our sins. And God is merciful and will blot out our transgressions FOR HIS OWN SAKE; and He will not remember our sins. (Isaiah 43:25)

Keep the Faith

“Moses was one hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were undimmed and his vigor unabated.” Deuteronomy 34:7

Moses, just like St. Paul after him, “fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith.” Do we have what it takes? Don’t we need to be a spiritual giant to fight the good fight? 

We can all get inspired by John Stephen Akhwari, a runner from Tanzania who competed in Mexico City for the 1968 Olympics. He was one of seventy-four participants in the 26.2 mile marathon. They all took off at 3 p.m., the hottest part of the day. One by one, 18 runners dropped out. A few hours later, everyone who was left crossed the finish line, all except John. Because John was from Tanzania which has an altitude of 660 feet, and the Olympics was held in a city high above at 7,350 feet, his legs started cramping. When he fell, he dislocated and wounded his knee and injured his shoulder as it hit the pavement. His wounds were bandaged and he rejoined the race, limping. 

He fell again, got up, hobbled, at times even dragged himself. Officials were already begging him to stop! But he refused and continued on, stumbling. Finally he shuffled into the stadium almost half an hour after the last runner had finished. The few remaining spectators cheered him on as he limped across the finish line with the little strength he had left. 

In a TV interview, John was asked why he did not drop out of the race. He answered, “My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start the race; they sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race." Like John, we too have a mission to finish. Do we have the endurance, persistence, the hopeful fortitude to keep going even when the going gets tough? As Edwin Hubbel Chapin wrote, “Not in achievement, but in endurance, of the human soul, does it show its divine grandeur and its alliance with the infinite.” 

God’s Plan

“Then the dragon stood before the woman about to give birth, to devour her child when she gave birth.” Revelation 12:4

In Genesis 3:15, we read the enigmatic words of God to Eve, the first woman, “He will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel.” If we look at the whole panorama of God’s plan from Genesis to Revelation, we can understand it a whole lot better. As St. Augustine once observed, “The New Testament lies hidden in the Old and the Old Testament is unveiled in the New.” 

Adam and Eve sinned and Eve said the “nahash”, the literal translation of which is serpent dragon, had tricked her. God then warned the “nahash”, “Because you have done this...I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel.” 

In Hebrew we see the word נָחָשׁ (nahash), and according to the St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology, “Throughout the Old Testament nahash is used to refer to powerful, even gigantic, evil creatures. Isaiah calls the nahash a sea dragon, the great Leviathan (see Isaiah 27:1). Job also uses nahash to depict terrible sea monsters (see Job 26:13).”

From the first book of the Bible, if we go to the last book, Revelation, we meet the “nahash” again (chapter 12). This same horrible, fierce serpent dragon with seven heads and ten horns intimidates “a woman clothed with the sun” about to give birth. The “nahash” was just so ready to devour the offspring of the woman. But was he able to? No. The offspring was snatched away from the “nahash” and was caught up to God. 

The “nahash” still intimidates us into submission, like it did the first woman. It deceives, feeds lies and misinformation so that we will disobey God, and not only that, follow what the “nahash” says. But it cannot frustrate God’s plans and purposes. Let us rejoice and meditate on God’s Word always. God has declared war on the “nahash” who wants to devour all of us! But with God on our side, we are victorious over evil! 

Learn from this Man

“Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and be no longer stiff-necked.” 

Deuteronomy 10:16

This is a very strange verse but obviously it is important so we have to try to see what we can glean from it. First, we obviously cannot circumcise our physical organ, so Moses is speaking about our spiritual hearts, the seat of our emotions, and thoughts. In Christianity, the heart is the core of our being, from which prayer and moral actions originate. In the Cathechism, it says that “the heart is the dwelling-place where I am…” It is the place of decision, truth, and covenant with God. We encounter God though our heart.

If we are able to cut off our stubbornness, haughtiness or pride, then we will have the changed and purified heart that God desires for us. 

Let me give you a wonderful example of a heart that is not haughty at all. This is told by the late Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete to whom this happened in the 70s. The Monsignor was the theological adviser of Cardinal William Baum, and the Cardinal asked him to drive around a famous Polish Cardinal who was arriving in Washington for a series of lectures. “I want you to learn from this man and pick his brains. He’s a brilliant thinker.” 

Monsignor Albacete refused because he was leaving for Puerto Rico, his hometown, and it was only when Cardinal Baum bribed him with a first class ticket to Puerto Rico on another date that he agreed. The Monsignor picked up Cardinal Karol Wojtyla in a car so dirty, it had French Fries scattered all over the passenger seat and junk everywhere else. They spent five days together riding to different venues, and had late nights of long conversations about the state of the church. Monsignor Albacete was just so engrossed and he asked ,”Your Eminence, would you write me so we can continue these discussions? Could you give me books to read?” The Cardinal agreed and for the next two years the Cardinal would write him letters regularly which the Monsignor NEVER ANSWERED! 

Two days after Cardinal Wojtyla was elected Pope, he invited Monsignor Albacete to Rome. Pope John Paul II welcomed the Monsignor and said, “I hope now you will answer my letters.” Years into the Pontificate, they would get together, have dinner, and the Pope would still joke with the Monsignor about the French fries and the junk in his car. 

Imagine the simplicity of this Pope, how he did not feel entitled at all, and how he valued and appreciated each person he met. He makes me evaluate how I act towards others. Circumcise my heart of any arrogance or pride, Lord! 

A Still, Small Voice

“…but the Lord was not in the earthquake.” 1 Kings 19:11

Many of us expect that when God speaks, He will do it in a booming voice, a terrifying reverberating Ten Commandments sure-to-be heard powerful utterance. But usually when God speaks, we can easily miss it if we are not quietly listening, and waiting for Him. 

It is so easy not to hear Him. It is so easy to dismiss His overtures to us. I believe that all God does is draw us closer, a wooing, a loving. But because there is so much in the world clamoring for our attention, we miss it. We miss the flowers growing, the birds, the food on our table.... It really takes a decision on our part to LISTEN, to OBSERVE, to be filled with gratitude, to answer God's offerings of love with a song of praise!

Sometimes we look for miracles, demonstrations of great power, healings, to grow our faith. But our faith will grow if we get to know the God of the Bible, if we read His Word and listen for His still, small voice. 

Increase My Faith, O Lord!

“Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:19

I also ask God the same—-increase my faith, Oh Lord!

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree,

'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you." Jesus replied.

Does this mean my faith is tinier than a mustard seed? How do I make it grow? One way is by reading the Bible ALOUD. “Faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the Word of Christ." Romans 10:17

Another way to increase our faith is to act on it. We should not wait to feel we have faith, “go out into the deep". The Lord is with us on our journey. He knows everything we are going through. Whatever loaves and fishes of faith we give Him, He will multiply!

I believe the third way is to keep a journal. This is a great way to remember what God has done in our life, His answers to our prayers!  In this school of life and learning, we need to write the lessons down!

How Much Do You Love Me?

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it.” Matthew 16:24

Deny myself? Take up my cross? We each have our own crosses. When we want to complain, we can think of what Jesus went through. “Excruciating” comes from the Latin excruciare 'to torment or torture', which was based on crux. From the agony in the garden to Jesus’ last breath, He was in torment. 

In Luke 22:44 we read that Jesus was so anguished, “he prayed more earnestly and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” The Christ experienced what is now known as hematohidrosis, a very rare clinical phenomenon in which the capillary blood vessels that feed the sweat glands rupture, causing them to bleed. 

In the very few recorded instances, this has been caused by extreme physical or emotional stress, acute fear or intense mental contemplation. Leonardo Da Vinci wrote of a soldier who sweated blood before going into battle. There are case studies of six men whose sweat glands bled before being led to execution during the London blitz. 

We definitely cannot say that because Jesus was God, He did not experience fear before allowing Himself to be brought before the priests, magistrates of the temple and elders. He knew more than anyone what He would have to go through, and to finish! There was no going back. We can ask Him, “How much do You love me?” 

He spread out His arms, allowed His hands to be nailed to the cross beam, and answered, “This much.” 

Sow Seeds of Love

“Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will reap bountifully” 2 Corinthians 9:6

It is said the the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed (Matthew 13:31). Perhaps we are all given seeds to sow. Our words. Our deeds. Our money. Our talents. Our smiles. Our hugs. These are all seeds to build God’s Kingdom or even to destroy it. It is our choice. 

Dodie Osteen had something wrong with her two feet and she was very self-conscious about them. But one day, someone told her, “You walk like a princess!” And so ever since that time, she never forgot it and would walk with her head held high. Today at 89 years old, she continues to spread encouragement and healing to others. 

There was an overworked minister whose wife abandoned him, leaving their teenage daughter with him to care for. She was such a rebel, she would stay out late every night, provoking him to lecture to her all the time. His words fell on deaf ears, and he would pray and pray asking God what to do. One day when he was on his knees in despair, he heard God say to him, “Just love her.” That very night, when she came in late, he said nothing but just hugged her tightly. Every night after that, he hugged her tight. Today that young rebellious teenager now preaches the Word just like her daddy. 

What seeds are we sowing today?

Be Strong and Courageous

The Lord said to Moses, “Send men to reconnoiter the land of Canaan, which I am giving the children of Israel…” Numbers 13:1

How blessed the Israelites were during the time of Moses, that God would speak to Moses as a friend would speak, clearly, and what was more, generously! God gave instructions of how they were to reconnoiter to see the land God was going to give them, a land so rich it was flowing with milk and honey. 

But instead of obeying the Lord, most of the men, except for Caleb, balked in fear and proclaimed to the others that they could not take over from the Anakim. 

“We cannot attack these people; they are too strong for us. The land that we explored is a country that consumes its inhabitants. And all the people we saw there are huge, veritable giants; we felt like mere grasshoppers, and so we must have seemed to them.”

How many times have we succumbed to our fears and insecurities? Our problems can sometimes feel insurmountable! But we need to see our challenges through God’s eyes! We need to stand on His promises! 

“For nothing will be impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37) “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13) “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 3:16) 

Take Courage!

“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

Today’s reading is the fascinating story of Peter getting out of the boat to walk on water while strong winds prevailed. He was the only one foolhardy enough to shout as Jesus walked on water, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” None of the other disciples dared. I would like to think that if I was there, and Peter was able to walk on water at first, I would have foolishly tried as well! 

Peter showed great faith as he stepped out of the boat. But as soon as he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on how strong the winds were, he began to sink, and he shouted, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him. “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” He asked. 

Many times we feel tossed about by circumstances. Perhaps we or someone we love is facing a health challenge too difficult to bear. It may be a financial burden. Or we may be anxious about the future for ourselves, or for our children because our country is spiralling into some serious moral, spiritual, cultural and financial decline. Whatever it is, we can take comfort in Jesus’ words to the disciples in the storm tossed boat, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” 

What is God’s goal, His will for us? Is it not that all of us reach heaven? That all of us become saints? This world, with all its challenges, trials and hardships, is a big Saint-making machine! Sometimes we do not understand what He allows in our life, but we can always shout, “Lord, save me!” Those who cry out will always see His hand reaching out. The storm may not abate, and the wild water may continue to churn at our feet, but if we focus on the Lord, we can be certain God will walk with us. 

Count Your Blessings

“Would that we had meat for food! We remember the fish we used to eat without cost in Egypt, and the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now we are famished; we see nothing before us but this manna.” 

Numbers 11:4-6

The people of Israel were complaining that they did not have meat to eat in the desert. All they had was manna which God provided everyday. They had forgotten that most of them did very hard work in Egypt. We too are prone to complaining and forget the many blessings God has given us. 

The oldest recorded set of multiple complaints was on a cuneiform tablet which dates back to about 1750 BCE. It was found in Ur, the city Abraham came from, now in modern day Iraq. People have been complaining for thousands and thousands of years! It must weary God, the same way the unending complaints of the Israelites wearied God and Moses! 

Joyce Meyer said, “Don’t complain. The Israelites wasted forty years complaining and murmuring in the wilderness, when they could have just obeyed God and entered into their Promised Land!”

Insider Information

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to Him.” Matthew 17:5

We celebrate the Feast of the Transfiguration of our Lord today. In a letter he wrote shortly before his death, Saint Peter reminisces about when he himself witnessed the transfiguration of Jesus. He writes that, “we were not making up clever stories when we told you about the power of our Lord Jesus Christ. We have seen His majestic splendor with our own eyes. And He received honor and glory from God the Father when God’s glorious, majestic voice called down from heaven, ‘This is my beloved Son. I am fully pleased with Him.’ We ourselves heard the voice when we were there with Him on the holy mountain.” 

Saint Peter continues, “Because of that, we have even greater confidence in the message proclaimed by the prophets. Pay close attention to what they wrote, for their words are like a light shining in a dark place...” (2 Peter 1:16-19)

This awesome experience made an incredible impact on the lives of Peter, James and John.  They each saw a glimpse of the glory beyond the cross. It was INSIDER INFORMATION and Saint Peter is telling us that, “We were EYEWITNESSES of His majesty! WE OURSELVES HEARD this voice from heaven!!! You HAVE to be attentive to this message!"

How urgent can that be? The message was so compelling that Saint Peter wanted to spread the message far and wide until he was martyred in Rome in the year 64 AD. Saint Peter said “Pay attention to what the prophets wrote.” Why? Saint Augustine said, “The New Testament lies hidden in the Old and the Old Testament is unveiled in the New.”

Are we paying attention? Are we listening? We are privileged to receive this insider information! Let us not let it go to waste!

Shine!

“Now Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip…” Matthew 14:3

Herod seemed to have a conscience. When the daughter of Herodias , Herod’s mistress, asked for the head of John the Baptist, Herod was distressed. But he was weak, and bowed to the dictates of Herodias and did not wish to disappoint the people. We can see here that a bad woman can influence a man to do horrible things. Although she was a Princess and exerted great influence, she used it to “confound the laws of the country” as written by the historian Josephus. 

Contrast this with another woman, Empress Theodora, wife of Emperor Justinian I. Although she came from a peasant background, after her conversion, she was strong in her religious beliefs. Because of her commitment to her principles, she worked towards the betterment of her society, the rights of women, and the legal system to help the poor and the weak. The Empress was regarded as a diplomat, politically savvy and a worthy partner of her husband and through their partnership, the Byzantine Empire flourished. 

We may not be Princesses or Empresses, but we too have choices to either be a light to those around us, or a dark shadow. We can be a wellspring for good words, encouragement, inspiration, positive action, OR a source of complaints, selfish behavior, defamation, or destruction. Let us challenge ourselves to start now, not tomorrow, to be the change this world needs, in our little corner of the world.

William Shakespeare wrote, “How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”

Strong in Faith

“And he did not work many mighty deeds there because of their lack of faith.” Matthew 13:58

Whenever I give an art workshop, I always say that creativity is like a muscle. We all have it, but if we don’t exercise it, it will be limp, and useless. Use it all the time, and it will bloom and grow. There are many exercises and challenges available online to increase creativity. Creativity is not just for artists. Business people, teachers, mothers and fathers, every one on the planet  needs it all the time to be more effective, and successful in their jobs, roles and relationships. 

In Matthew 13:58, we read that Jesus did not do many miracles in His hometown because of the people’s lack of faith. Is faith like a muscle as well? Can we grow in faith just as we can grow in creativity? No doubt about it! Like the gift of creativity, God has also given each one of us, a seed of faith. “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ”, St. Paul writes in Romans 10:17.

We can go to God’s gym to develop our spiritual muscles by exercising our faith everyday, by believing in God’s promises, by rebuking the enemy’s whispers of hopelessness and deception. If someone is sick, we should pray for him and not be shy or insecure that our prayers will not work. Whatever challenge comes our way, let us use our faith muscles and one day we will be spiritual Schwarzeneggers!!! 

Let us become so strong in the faith that the devil trembles when we get up in the morning!!!

Bad Fish

“The Kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea, which collects fish of every kind.” Matthew 13:47

We can see how different God is from some earthly kings and presidents who want to kill the ‘bad fish’. God will only get rid of the ‘bad fish’ at the end of the age. 

If Nicky Cruz were in the Philippines when he was young, a leader of a bloodthirsty gang, and up to no good every night, he would be a target. Instead he became a target of David Wilkerson, an evangelist in the worst areas of New York. 

Nicky was born to a witch and a warlock in Puerto Rico. They sacrificed animals to Satan and ate it raw, and the stench of blood used to sicken Nicky. His mother beat him up several times and tell him he was worthless. His father would throw him naked in a small locked room full of pigeons attacking him. When he was sent to New York, he wanted to make others suffer and feel pain the way he did. 

When Nicky was 19 years old, Pastor Wilkerson risked his life to throw out his net for the bad ass gang members. Nicky and the others heard him preach, “God has the power to change your life.” Nicky cursed out loud, spit in the Pastor’s face and hit him. “I don’t believe in what you say! Get out of here.”

Pastor Wilkerson said, “You could cut me up into 1000 pieces and lay them in the street. Every piece will still love you.” Nicky and his gang eventually attended one of the Pastor’s rallies and gave their lives to Jesus Christ, bad fishes no more! Nicky Cruz went to Bible College, met Gloria who is now his wife. He preaches around the world. One time he preached in Paraguay and two thousand witches came to put a curse on the proceedings. Nicky and the 70 people who were with him prayed and many of the witches gave their lives to Christ. The ones who didn’t were carted off in ambulances, screaming and writhing in pain. 

Lord, thank You for being merciful and patient. Even bad fish can be saved by Your love and grace. May You use us O Lord to reach out to the hurting.

Pearl of Great Price

“When he finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.” Matthew 13:46

Have we found the pearl of great price? What are we willing to give up for it? 

Adoniram Judson, Jr. was a son of a minister, but upon developing a friendship with Jacob Eames, a devout skeptic and deist in university, he abandoned his faith and his parents’ religious instruction. Judson graduated as valedictorian from the College of Rhode Island & Providence Plantations (now Brown University) and everyone was eagerly watching what this bright young man would become. 

One day when he was traveling from afar to go back home, he arrived at an inn, and asked for a room. The man at the desk said there was no room available. As Judson was extremely tired after a long day on horseback, he asked that he might stay in the front parlor. The clerk then said there was one room, but the man in the next room was very very ill, and would shout and scream. Judson said he was willing to stay in the room next to the sick man as he was so very tired, he would probably sleep through it all. But it was not to be, the man next door was in such pain that his screams carried through the walls and kept Judson awake till the man suddenly quieted down. The next morning Judson inquired about the man, and if he was relieved of his pains. The clerk told him that the man had died, and that this man’s name was Jacob Eames. 

The shock of learning that the dying man was his old schoolmate who convinced Judson against his Christian convictions, was enough to bring him back to Christ. He eventually decided to be a missionary. He and his wife Ann went to Burma. By 1823, ten years after his arrival, he made 18 Burmese converts and had translated the entire New Testament to Burmese. He was able to translate the entire Bible to Burmese by 1834 and it was printed and published the next year. 

He died on April 12,1850, at the age of 61, after 37 years of back breaking missionary work, including 20 months imprisonment, and evangelizing in tiger-infested jungles. Adoniram Judson, Jr. found the pearl of great price, but he did not want to keep it for himself. He desperately wanted others to find this treasure for themselves as well. 

Your Friend

“The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.” Exodus 33:11a

Moses visited the tent, the Tabernacle of the Covenant, and while Moses spoke with God, the pillar of cloud would descend and stay at the door. Moses did not see God’s face, although he could hear God’s instructions, he could plead with God, and even argue with God. Although Moses asked to see God’s face, God refused him, because “man shall not see me and live.” (Exodus 33:20) 

But today, we can speak to God without going to church, without needing to visit a holy place, without the pillar of cloud. When Jesus left us, He said, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” (John 14:26) If we spend time with the Lord, even while lying on our bed, He promised to teach us. 

In Matthew 27:51, we read that when Jesus died, the veil in the temple, the heavy curtain that separated the second room called the Holy of Holies, from the first room, the Holy Place, was torn from top to bottom. Not only that, there was also an earthquake, and rocks were split open. This signified we do not need a mediator anymore, like Moses, to be able to speak to God, to hear Him, plead with Him, and even argue with Him! 

As to seeing God face to face, did not Jesus tell us the parable of the King and his subjects? 

“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?” The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:31-40) It is clear that if we want to see Jesus, we need to be able to see Him in the poor, the sick, those in prison, the stranger, the widow, the orphan. And seeing Him, what do we do to draw closer to Him?