Finding Life

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” 

Matthew 10:39

This verse is very significant for me because when I was in UP High School, a group of people from Gideons International dropped by with cute little red Bibles for each of the students. They spoke a little about the Bible, and then we had to promise to read the Bible every day if we wanted to get a Bible from them. The Bible was so cute, and I wanted one, and to this day, I still have that Bible with markings on the pages. So I know that I stopped reading the Bible when I read those words of Jesus, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” In John 12:25, the verse reads, “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”

To a young girl in love with life, what would those words about the cross, and finding life if you lose it, and losing your life for Jesus’ sake mean? Not very much! I believe that Jesus intentionally did not speak in plain and simple language because one has to spend time seeking for layers of meanings. If one really wants to know the truth which is a priceless treasure, we need to read the Bible every day, pray about it, and like Mary, “ponder it in our heart”. St. Luke writes in 2:19,  “Mary treasured all these words (rhemata = acts of utterance) and pondered them in her heart.” The mother of Jesus was a very young peasant girl and she did not understand what was happening to her either. After all the mystery of the Incarnation never happened before or since. So she protected the words of the angel in her heart, not her mind, where it can get lost in all the meanderings of logic and cynicism, but in her heart, where God can give clarity and meaning. 

In the morning when I pray and read the Bible, I just like to think of the words I read just sitting and finding a place in my heart. I need not fully understand it. But I know that God’s word is “alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”  (Hebrews 4:12) So let’s not worry, if we do not understand what we read all the time. Just trust God to reveal to us what He wants to reveal in His perfect time.