The Picture of our Souls

“...the darkness has blinded his eyes.” 1John 2:11

This morning I read about an anti-smoking commercial that said, “If smoking did to you on the outside what it is doing to you on the inside, would you still smoke?” Smokers’ lungs are dark not pink. It is mottled with multiple cavities filled with inhaled tar and black carbon deposits. It is also harder and brittle compared to non-smokers’ lungs. 

I imagine if our faces and bodies become dark and mottled with ugly black marks, we would do whatever we can to stop the spread of ugliness. This leads me to wonder what my soul looks like. Is it marbled and blotchy with sin, unforgiveness, the little irritations of every day? 

I remember the novel I read when I was young entitled, “The Picture of Dorian Gray by the infamous Oscar Wilde. The 1890 novel tells of a handsome man who had his portrait painted. Gray, in his vanity, sells his soul to preserve his looks and ensure that the painting instead would age. Not only did the painting age, it showed evidence of every sin and crime Gray committed as he slipped more and more into an amoral and decadent lifestyle. 

It may be that our friends think we live a righteous life, we go to mass, we fast on days we are obligated to, we say 2000 Hail Marys with our church group, and we give alms to the poor. What is the portrait of our soul that God sees? Are we obedient to Him, humble not arrogant, loving towards our neighbors? Or are we like the Pharisees who like to make an outward show of their holiness and obedience to the smallest letter of the law? 

Father, pierce the darkness that blinds us and show us the way to Your heart!