Our Hearts are Restless

"My soul yearns and pines for the courts of the Lord." Psalm 84:2

A good friend passed away last Saturday at 62 years old. I will always remember Maricar as heartbreakingly lovely. Even if she had a bad case of psoriasis ever since I’ve known her, she was always smiling and happy and excited about what God was doing in her life. I cannot remember a get together with her where she complained about anything. She was always enthusiastic, bubbling with stories about God’s amazing miracles in her life. During the pandemic we would have monthly online get togethers with a few other sisters from Lumen Cristi, the group where we got to know each other. That was when she shared about how difficult it was having a dance class online, and keeping her school afloat. Still, she was always hopeful, determined to see the bright side, and made us see it along with her.

Last year was really hard for Maricar. She lost her foot due to a cancerous tumor. For a dancer, that must have been almost unbearable. Then even after treatment, a more aggressive tumor appeared. I am sad that I will not see her bright smile again this side of life. But I am happy that she is now with the One who loves her best. Maricar was no stranger to chronic pain and discomfort, and I can imagine her in her last days, longing, yearning, pining and waiting to be in her Father's courts, in her  Father's arms. 

We are born with that yearning. Most of us just don't recognize it. Saint Augustine realized it after he had his fill of worldly pleasures. He wrote, "You have made us for Yourself. My heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee."  

Indeed we are all restless, searching for something to fulfill us, enamored by passing fancies and fading glories. What is it now my heart is pining for?  A red dress in a magazine page? A vacation in Paris? Some choux pastries from Patisserie Le Choux-Colat? Whatever it is, it is a small, pitiful reflection of our hunger for the eternal. 

Lord, may I find my rest in You even now! There are many distractions in the world. May I choose rightly!